Losing 15 years of my life.

Jones Talbot is a young man who just graduated school and was now holding a job at a local law firm. He has a very mundane job as an office boy, typing documents, faxing account sheets, getting coffee for the boss and arranging the piles and piles of office documents. He always thought to himself that this job would help him find his place in the world, and would be a stepping stone to greater things. It would only be for a few years , he thought, and someday he will get promoted to a secretary. A job that would pay much more and help him improve his lifestyle. "It will happen" he tells himself.

Some days, the job was easy and not much work needed to be done. Business would be slow, documents wouldn't be piled up to the ceiling, little things need to be faxed and the boss would not need so many rounds of coffee. But mostly, work at the office was always busy with people moving in and out, lawyers meeting new clients and time passing ever so slowly. There would be days when documents would pile up waiting to be filed, and the boss would scream from his office for a good cup of coffee. Jones never complained, but in his heart, he wished days would just be easy.

As the day gets more and more busy, Jones likes to take a break from his office work, and during lunchtime, stroll around the park, look at the tranquility around him. Jones loved to walk around the park, feeling and smelling fresh flowers and enjoy their splendiferous colours. Oh how it calms him down. He would usually sit on the park bench with a sandwich in hand and a bottle of water all by himself, taking a break.

Jones sat on that bench from Mondays to Fridays, without anyone to keep him company except for this one particular day. It was a day he would never forget. A young lady named Alba came and offered to sit with him. Jones wondered why, but "I guess i could use some company" echoed in his heart. She sat with him, and ate lunch together. They started talking about themselves, introducing herself as an avid painter who hasn't really painted anything notable, out in the park to look for inspiration and she found him. Alba was a sweet young lady who was around the same age as Jones, she had long brunette hair which stretched down to her shoulders, beautiful white skin and a heart-warming smile.

Jones never knew he would meet such an interesting girl on a park bench in the middle of town. Neither did he know she shared many same interests with him. Alba took him back to her studio which was nearby and showed him her paintings, many of which expressed her interest in emotions of people and the feelings of people. Jones was amazed at her talent and asked if she had won anything for her artwork. "Sadly, no" came the reply. According to the art critics, her paintings lacked depth and completeness. Alba always thought they were just some light headed buffoons but it turns out many critics shared the same opinions. She was out in the park just thinking about it, and she met him. Who knew.

Everyday, Jones would be sitting on the same park bench, and everyday, there she would be, always on time. They would ask each other about their day and just discuss about the interesting questions of life. As they looked around, they noticed many interesting things about their surroundings. They would see a child with his parents carrying an ice cream with such a smile on his face that would make the stars go blue. Nearby, a couple would be walking together holding hands and just enjoying the moment together. Opposite the street, an ice cream vendor, in his wonderful suit serving the kids that pass by with such vigour. Both of them thought long and hard about the question before them. What was the depth that was missing in the paintings of Alba? What is there that makes it incomplete?

As they thought long and hard and enjoyed each other's company, time was up and they had to return to their lives and work. Although they continuously thought about each other every hour of the day as they worked. Jones would return to the office and work till the end of office hours and after that, they would meet again and spend the entire evening together.

Years passed, both of them grew older. However, that bench was still theirs. They never forgot about each other. Everyday they would still sit on that special bench and enjoy each others company. In those times, Alba still hasn't been able to reach the depth in her paintings and Jones is still stuck as a busy office boy. They never really bothered about that, but enjoyed every moment they spent together on that bench. Over time, their relationship grew, and they were no longer just friends on a bench, but much more than that. Jones was no long as lonely as he used to be with Alba by his side, nor was Alba as lonely when her paintings got rejected. They were perfect for each other.

A few months down the road, as they were sitting on the park bench together, Alba was waiting all by herself, and Jones arrived late. Alba was a little bit disappointed in him but kept it all to herself. Jones started walking slowly towards her, got on his knees, and popped the million dollar question. All her disappointment immediately evaporated and she started crying. She agreed. Finally, both of them were to be together. There was nothing more special than this moment to them and it was a moment they cherished together. Jones took her in his arms and held her ever so tightly.

They started planning their wedding by selecting the church on 7th street as the venue. It was where Alba's mother got married. It was a very special place. The large doorway made of Oak wood, and the long aisle surrounded by beautiful monuments and pews. It was the perfect place for a wedding. Leading up to the magical day, invitations were sent out, decorations were put in place, and the bride groom were trying on their garments. They looked so nice together and it was thought by their friends and family that not a thing in the world, not even God's power could stop them from getting married.

Fate wasn't of the same mind. On the day of the wedding, as the smartly dressed Jones crossed the street and entered the church, a drunk driver sped across and did not stop. The car rammed into Jones and sped off away to the ends of the eye. Jones was laying on the road, bleeding from head to toe and unconscious. Alba never dreamt this even in her wildest imaginations or paintings that this would happen to her on her wedding day. She was truly devastated. As the ambulance came and carried him into the van, she could only look on helplessly as the only man she ever loved was unconscious in an ambulance.

Jones was kept in the ICU for many days. Doctors were not very optimistic about his chances of waking up. He had a very slim chance of waking up. As Alba waited in the waiting room, she glanced at the ring he gave her when he proposed and shed a tear. Praying for his recovery, she cried a bucket of tears and just continued to glance at the ring. Jones never woke up. Alba sat there, powerless to do anything. She entered the room, and saw him lying there, it was as though he were in a deep deep sleep. Not being able to open an eye or to lift a finger. She clutched his hand so tight and promise to wait until he woke up.

Weeks past, and Jones never woke up. It was as though he was trapped in a game of his own mind. Friends and family came to visit him. Alba sat faithfully by his bedside every night and took care of him. Her relatives encouraged her to move on because they believed that he would never wake up. Alba was adamant to stay by his side. She kept his engagement ring with her and hoped that one day , he would be able to put it on for her again.

15 years passed. Things have changed. However, Jones was still stuck in the hospital unconscious until one day, he started showing signs of awareness. His eyes started twitching and his fingers started moving. It was a marvelous occasion, for his doctors and nurses. Alba was not at the hospital. She had moved on. Jones made a full recovery after many weeks. He had to go through physical therapy to regain control of his muscles, and also had to stay in the hospital for awhile longer. However, throughout those weeks, Alba was not there. Jones was all alone again. Every night, he would glance at a photo of the night before their wedding. Both of them as happy as clowns and full of excitement. Now, there was only one.

About a month later, he was discharged from the hospital and allowed to return home. He made a miraculous recovery and was as healthy as ever. He went back to his job as an office boy in the law firm. The job never changed. Things were as busy as usual. The office was filled with the sound of clicking typewriters and the ringing of phones. His old office colleagues who still worked there welcomed him back home.

At lunch break, he sat there on that special bench by the park. Just waiting for her. Lunch time was almost over and she was not there. Days passed and there was no sign of her.

Finally, he decided to visit her at her studio which was also her apartment in the middle of the night. He stood outside the door, all dressed up, and not knowing what to say. His heart was racing like an F1 car and he just did not know what to do when he saw her. He reached up to the door and knocked it three times. As the door creaked open, there she was standing there right before his very eyes. She was just as pretty as he remembered her. Her brunette hair and her beautiful smile that still melted his heart.

She was so shocked. She did not know what to do and they just stared at each other. Alba never thought she would have to face this all over again even after she had just overcome it. She started shedding tears. She abruptly told him that she was sorry and she closed the door.

Jones was so distraught. Not only did he lose 15 years of his life, he lost the love of his life. He was alone again. Everyday he would sit by that bench, just staring into the blankness of life and everything seemed monochromatic. One day, as he was sitting on the park bench, she saw him from the opposite side of the street. She was carrying something in her hand. Slowly, she walked towards him, head facing downwards, and tears forming around her eyes. Immediately he embraced her in his arms, kissed her and held her so tight. He could not believe it was her. They sat down like they used to on that park bench. Turns out she decided to move on after thinking that he would never wake up. She married an artist like herself and had 2 children.

As they talked like they used to, Alba handed him a painting in her arms. It was a beautiful painting that made her famous all over the world. It was a picture that had so much depth and emotion that touched the hearts of many admirers who saw it. After she handed him the painting, she said her goodbyes, hugged him and kissed him goodbye. He sat down alone and admired the painting. It was a painting of both of them sitting on that special park bench, kissing each other as the world of ice cream vendors, children, and couples go on with their lives.

At the back of the painting was an inscription by Alba:

To the only love of my life:

Thank you for the great adventure you have given me.

I never knew how I could ever get on with my life after what had happened to you.

But then, I realized what my paintings have been lacking,

It was the experience with you,

Your tender love and affection that melted my heart.

I wished things could be different between us,

That we would have ended up together,

Maybe we will someday,

But until then , you I hope this painting would continue to be the depth in your life as you pursue greater things.

Never let go of that special love that you have.

Love Alba

They weren't you

I am a tomato sauce lover. If I stopped by a Macdonalds or any western food stall for that matter, i would ask for extra tomato sauce and usually I am very very picky about which sauce i like to have cause not all sauces taste the same you know. Different restaurants provide different tomato sauces as well which is quite a bummer.

If you were to go and visit a cheap Ramly burger stall by the roadside, they would obviously not give you the best tomato sauce in the world (aka Heinze) but they use a cheaper "Malaysian-made" (and diluted as well) variant. However if you were to visit a more upmarket place such as Macdonalds, they would provide you with their own version of tomato sauce, which is quite good i might add, and if you were to climb higher up the ladder, you would find that TGI Fridays, Tony Romas and Chillies, which are higher up in the food chain, leave one whole bottle of Heinze Tomato Sauce on your table for you to use as you please :D , much to the delight of myself and my brother.

Now some of you might be wondering, its just tomato sauce, whats such a big deal? I mean as long as there is that kind of flavour right?

No! Every good thing is set apart from bad things by quality. Meaning, every good tomato sauce is different from bad tomato sauce in terms of flavour. If you choose to buy Heinze, it definitely will taste much more different compared to a cheap Malaysian-made diluted tomato sauce. Same goes for pretty much any consumer good that you buy. Adidas shoes would be much more comfortable compared to some made in china shoes. A 10K piano would sound much better compared to a second hand 1k piano.

But in order for something to be considered "superior" to the other, or otherwise "special", it has to stand out. In the sense, that no other brand is like it, no other brand taste like it, no other brand smells like it. There is no way that another company comes up with the same formula as "Coca-cola" without tasting different, nor will anyone come up with a 2nd KFC. Why? Because it was wonderfully and specially made. I am not kidding. It started with a recipe, and after much improvement, it became set apart.

I remember one time, I "tapau-ed" a Mcvalue Meal ( BIG MAC :D) and the lady forgot to pass me a bunch of tomato sauce i requested. So on the way home when i checked and nibbled at my fries, i realised the mistake, but i thought i had some tomato sauce lying around somewhere in the house. But when i reached home, to my horror, i was unable to find any. Not even a small packet or even a bottle of it. What would fries be without tomato sauce right? So i went berserk for awhile, and my dad suggested i use chilli sauce instead. Chilli sauce with fries ain't as good as tomato sauce with fries. So i said no thanks. I mean both are still sauces. But there is one that stands out more than the other in terms of flavour.

So onto a short story.....

Rama is a nice boy, he has all the makings to be a good husband, a good father, excels in his studies and in whatever he does. One day, he met this girl, who instantly stole his heart away. Just a glance, and he knew that she was the one. So he decided, he wanted to get to know her abit more. They started talking, getting to know one another, even started arguing about their favourite artiste but making up in the end. Eventually, things got closer, and it moved really fast. Rama was sure, she was the one he was going to spend his life with.

Love is a funny thing, it seems to last forever, but ends early. Rama never knew what had happened between them. It seemed as though he had made a mistake and did something to hurt the only girl he ever had feelings for, or maybe she found something better. To add insult to injury, it got harder to see her everyday. So later on, he decided it was time to move on, and that life would sort itself out. He started being more courages and outgoing. Meeting new people and making new friends. Even more girl-friends now.

Sometimes, he would chat with them through the late nights, and just think about them through the morning. After awhile, he realised that something wasn't right. It was fun getting to know them, and share secrets and have fun together. However, it just didn't feel complete.

This bugged him for awhile. He finally came to the conclusion that, none of the girls he could talk to would ever make him feel as special as this particular girl did. But why?????

Later on, this girl came back, not seeing or talking to each other for over a year, and now stuck together in the same place. Both having seen their own share of friends. They said to each other, "It never worked out with anyone else, cause they weren't you".

There was just something special about both of them to each other. Both were like a high quality recipe, which the taste could not be replicated by any other person on this planet. The contents of it are a secret, but the taste can be tasted. There is something special in each one of us, something that others lack or in food terms "can't taste like". And sometimes, to love, there is a small unique taste to both partners that make both realize that there isn't anyone else on earth who tastes like that.

Letters from the boat Part 3

11/3/1938

To Peter:

Hey Peter, It has been a really long while ever since we met, remember that time when we were growing up that I told you i would not be stuck as a house man at home and that I will travel the world in search of adventure ? Well i am living the dream!

I have left Madison, Wisconsin for a few months now and am on my way to a great adventure. I have been to many cities in the world on this boat, the Irene has taken me to places we dream't of going. Every new city is a new experience and a new culture. I am amazed at how eventhough we are all humans, we are so different in speech and culture. I have seen people from Asia, Eastern Europe, and Southern America, all different. But even through all this adventure, it still doesn't feel right. I don't feel complete. For some reason, it feels that in this big crowd of unique strangers and culture, i am standing alone.

Whats missing? I am having the time of my life, seeing the world, what i have always dreamt of doing, and experiencing the adventure. It always what i wanted. But somehow , i guess deep down, i am alone. There are 50 sailors about the Irene, all tough sea hardy men, yet the sea and the journey feels so lonely. What was the other side of the puzzle?

I left Madison in a haste and never looked back, not even to her. Things were just too crazy. I guess I never really understood it until now, we will never learn to love the good things until they are gone. I lost her, not to another man, but to life and destiny. I learnt about her death a few weeks ago after receiving the letter i sent to her. The day she died was more like an act of God rather than an act of negligence. Fate is a cruel thing sometimes. I wish I could have taken it all back, and done things right, and we would have been the best couple around. I guess loving her was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now i'll never see her again.

I'm sure you know what it feels like Peter. Susan left 2 weeks after you were deployed to war. Didn't we used to sit down and say how awesome our girls were? Gone are those days my friend, its now just you and me. I never learned to appreciate and love my girl, and your girl failed to do the same to you. Breaks my darn heart to think about it.

War's coming I hear. On my trip to Europe, there has been rumour of changes and revolution to free the oppressed. Stay safe my friend, you are the closest to a brother I have left....

Signed,

Arthur