Its been a long time coming, and here is the latest :)
Well there has always been something in my heart i want to tell you ever since that day had to happen. I never really could find the time or the heart to tell you what I wanted to say. I always had a feeling you and I would be together forever, everything would be alright, and I was quite confident it would. Then it came to the question of waiting, I was all for it as well honestly. I loved that spirit in you that always wanted to put God first in everything that we do. Among many other things, you always found a way to make me and everyone else happy at your own expense.
The waiting period was long, and I never really understood what we had planned together. I jumped the gun and rushed to a conclusion. In the end, I ended up hurting you with the trust that you have given to me.
After that period, I really wanted to apologize from my heart and tell you that everything will really really be alright. I know I say that alot and honestly I myself don't believe it sometimes. Especially that night we fought :( . I guess all these had to happen. Remember? We both prayed for each other and surrendered it to God all the time?
This is what God has planned and it has come to pass. That night that we had that argument, I dunno whether I was right but I had a feeling telling me to talk to you already and don't wait. I guess it's because 6 years is a long time to wait and I obviously can't make you wait that long for a guy like me. You will not be happy at all. All this had to happen. I thought I would be the one to always put a smile on your face every single day till our old age. How can i do that if we are so far apart for these 6 years?
I never really meant alot of the things I said that night but I said it anyway as I'm the impatient one. I keep forgetting how much you mean to me. Thank you for always being so patient with me :) .
I have prayed a prayer of blessing and surrender over your life and our friendship. God has given me back at least our friendship and I am glad for that :)
I will not get close to you anymore, just of course the occasional smile and the effort to make you smile when you are down. You can always come to me whenever cause I'll be there as I always promised.
We never know, 6 years might go by just like that and somehow somewhere we might meet and I believe that would be the best timing, honestly, that is what I am praying for haha.
Its all just bad timing now, I could have given you so much better but at this time and age, I was unable to adequetly provide the best. I should have taken the advice to just stay away from the person I love so that we can save what we did not start. I couldn't do that because you were just the most amazing girl to me, you will always be, even if I will no longer be yours.
Remember all the good times we had together, forget the bad. Its just a time to move on for now. We don't know what the future holds but whatever it is, we will be alright :)
There isn't such things as fairytales just like your blog says, I too don't believe in that, there is no "the one" person even in the Bible. It took effort for people to build on the relationship. Maybe one day, we can build back what we used to have.
Until then, lets not live in regret, it's all gonna be alright I promise you. If its me or someone else, it's alright, the plan for your life is good, it will bring you peace!
I need to let you go now, I just can't but I am trying, thank you for helping me :)
I wonder if you will ever see this, if you do, just know I never really said it but I mean it, I love you and always will. :)
